Communication is not just about transfer of ideas but how we portray ourselves to others. In many ways we communicate even without opening our mouths. When we step into a scenario, there are things about us that people pick long before we open our mouths: our dress code, our facial expressions, our gestures etc.

I recall an instance while working for a certain organization and one of my colleagues was reporting to office as a new staff. Upon greeting me, he confessed later that he thought that I was the unit manager (which I wasn’t). In fact at that point in time, I was a clerk. Something about me communicated to him about my position in the organization.

So before we even step into a public space, what are the things to look for in order to build a positive presence?

SELF ESTEEM
I like watching wildlife encounters because I’m a nature enthusiast. One of the memorable encounters I recall is that of a lion which was cornered by a crocodile while taking a drink along the river bank. My thinking was that once confronted by the croc, the lion would back off since the croc was in its home ground. However, to my surprise, the lion stood its ground and challenged the reptile forcing it to back off instead. Though the croc felt that it’s space had been intruded, the lion, saw it as a move that would not go unchallenged. The croc tested the lion’s ability to defend itself and in return, the cat rose to the challenge. It proved its self worth.

On a daily basis, we encounter situations which seem to challenge the value within us. We get pushed and shoved into unfamiliar spaces because people have made a conclusion about our value. This ultimately erodes our true value in our own eyes. But we need to rediscover ourselves and see the value that we hold. This is the realm of self esteem.

Self esteem is a belief in our overall self worth. It seems to ride on a couple of important nuggets:

A BELIEF IN A GREATER BEING: For one to believe in their self worth, it helps to acknowledge a greater source of good. Acknowledging that we were formed by a Creator, builds a sense of value within us. We see ourselves as having a greater purpose that existed in the Creator’s mind before our existence. Sometimes we may feel useless because of our circumstances. A good example is when a man doesn’t have an income and cannot provide for his family. Such situations can really damage his self esteem. But when he remembers that he was created and exists for a purpose, he can pick himself up and be strengthened to seek for that purpose amd live it out.

RECONCILING WITH OUR PAST: The past has its place in our lives. It comes with its fair share of sorrows, regrets, consequences and responsibilities. However, if we can find ways to reconcile and make peace with our past, we’ll be better mentally placed to handle the responsibilities that come with it.

BEING COMFORTABLE WITH HOW WE LOOK: The way we value ourselves is not a function of other people’s perception of us but of how we think about ourselves. Do we love and appreciate ourselves the way we are? We are our own best fans. For us to feel good about ourselves we must love the way we look.

SEEKING TO DEVELOP OURSELVES: A person who believes that they are valuable seeks to keep on improving on their value. Associating with people who deposit value into us is crucial. Also the skills and experiences we gather over time have the ability to improve on our value. It is also important to take note of the kind of people or situations that might erode the value we have in ourselves and to guard against them.

Self esteem grows over time. But it could also be eroded over time. The most essential thing is for us to guard our hearts from those instances which erode the value we see in ourselves. If we value ourselves, we’ll be able to see the value in others. But not only that, we’ll also be able to transfer value to others and to situations around us. Self esteem ultimately reflects through our body language. It is the conduit through which self confidence emerges. Whereas self esteem is about us valuing ourselves, self confidence is about believing in our abilities.